we have officially lost it.
I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Duck Duck Cougar?
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
