I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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