How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize