These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
