I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Pooping to opera.
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