In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
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