after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
