Having a random hookup so left but love u
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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