My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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