Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
