she looked like the bat from fern gully.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
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