Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
