I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Randomize