is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
