I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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