Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Randomize
