We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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