I CAN MOONWALK!
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
