WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
