come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
