I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
