I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
