If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize
