i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Actions speak louder than pants.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
