some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
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