tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
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