Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Randomize
