As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
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It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
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who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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