youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
