Joe is yelling at the trees again.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize