Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
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