Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(828): View more from North Carolina

..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.

(1-828): View more from North Carolina

nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz

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(920): View more from Wisconsin

I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.

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(443): View more from Maryland

Just cropdusted the office

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(402): View more from Nebraska

Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.

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(516): View more from New York

i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor

(1-516): View more from New York

did you bang her?

(516): View more from New York

seriously?

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(612): View more from Minnesota

i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.

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(615): View more from Tennessee

I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.

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(713): View more from Texas

Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.

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(609): View more from New Jersey

how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?

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