if you like me you must not know who I am
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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