I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Say something about gay babies.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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