you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
