are you so shy because you have an std?
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
