Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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