i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
