Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
honey bunches of taint.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
