That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
He keeps bees of course he's weird
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
