I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
