don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Of course I have a pirate flag
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
