He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
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You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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