Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Randomize