Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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