Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
