No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
