That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
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It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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