paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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