almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
