My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Randomize
