You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
You smell like stripper and shame
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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