Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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