spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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