And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
"it" just moved
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Randomize
