Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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