I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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