I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Randomize
