All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
