Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize
