Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
