1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
And the cops told us we were all naked.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Randomize
