'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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